we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
