By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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