You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
