how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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