I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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