i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
