Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
