Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
