he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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