What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
