if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
