He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
