grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
