I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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