he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
