Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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