Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
