Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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