marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
