If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
