I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
