apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
