I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
