If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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