he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
