so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
