nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
