i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
