lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
