im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize