he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
