What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
