I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The air was thick with penises
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Randomize
