Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
