I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I need to calm my uterus...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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