Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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