it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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