Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
