if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I booty called her while she was in labor.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
