the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
