For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
