then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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