I bet he comes in French.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
