he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
