If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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