I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
