There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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