I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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