We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
