This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
