when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
