She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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