Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
